No words can express how sorry I am

No sympathy is enough to console the harm

No soothing voice can make that sadness scram

How I wish we could get a heart of charm

Oh so timely it reminds me of the misery

Hoping that the madness have never come to we

Please don’t let this stop your glee

On another deadly night of the free

Pussy eyes of the low life’s

Can sometimes mend the lies

Stopping all the pain and the cries

To forget the stupid son of flies

-Troubadour

created on May 12, 2012

Today I visited my old room, I haven’t slept there for awhile now since the break up sink in. I saw the old pillow you used to lay your head on when your not in my arms, I can still smell your scent through that old pillow case, and guess what I saw? I saw an old strand of your hair underneath it.

I remember when you were sleeping, I tried to tease you by pulling out a hair strand, I knew that you’d be awaken and quickly hid my hand inside the pillow case and laugh.  The look on your face was special, your face looks like you want to get angry and irritated yet thought that I was being sweet and playful and simply smiled.

We only had a few laughs and a few intimate conversations together I knew then and there that it wouldn’t work out. But I believed in your love and tried to work things around. I always wanted a compromise but all you wanted is to be you and me to be somebody you have been longing me to be. We always argue on who’s right and who’s wrong, on who’s doing much and who’s doing less. 

You have shown love, more than any girl I have ever known, and I have become too complacent and forgot all about you, that you also needed the love that you were giving. I guess they were right on saying that “regrets comes in the end”. Well, regardless of your shortcomings I still believe that the love you’ve shown is a kind of love that I needed and the kind of love I have always looked for.

For whatever mistakes you have done and for whatever pain you have brought me, I have forgiven you. But I can’t forgive myself yet I guess… Until the time that we meet again, I will change, I will keep on molding myself with the fire of this regret and make myself worthy for someone who can understand me and treat me more dearly than how you treated me. And when that day comes, I swear from the bottom of my heart, that its gonna’ be very special, extra special that even you would feel the same regret I felt when I lose you.

-The Troubadour 05-06-11

Silent words have been spoken
Parted ways with blurry sentence
Ambition, rejection and affiliation
Have made it come to its final sense

All this while I’ve looked for you
Although I know you don’t want me to
I was just asking to look at you
But I guess there was no me and you

Across the foggy path to you
I have bumped to someone new
I thought you might have been too
So there we were trying so true

Now the time had come to forward
Needless to say the awkward
I started to remember you
A woman I knew of inner value

I hope to be granted remission
Please let me out of this prison
I just need a minute of conversation
And catch up with all your indignation

-The Troubadour 04-17-11

How long should I bleed?
Just for you to heal
My blood have been flowing like tears

Your words and smile that are soothing
are the same tools that creates the opening
cutting the last hope of zeal I am holding

If I bid to say goodbye
and cure the wounds of your marking
should it resolve the friction of mishandling?

If I chose to stay and tie a thread
for how long should it secure a sane head
nothing more than a way to dead end

affinity that turns to adversity
a man known of great responsibility
never should enter into the hearts mysterious treaty

Tell me how long should I bleed?
When I can no longer find the need
for I know the only option is to concede

-The Troubadour 12-20-10

Red moonlight, blood of the night,
I noticed you out of fright.
You filled me with might on that little side,
and helped me win this unwitting fight.

I guess your luckier,
how they loved you with your color,
no one could hate you for such a horror
They’re minds are filled with unknowing vigor.

And for those whose minds would disgust you,
and eyes that couldn’t adore you,
the clouds, it will hide you,
and maybe tomorrow, they’ll like you.

Oh! you have been blessed with a panacea,
and could cure your flaws by your own.

Though you have no friends to rely on,
no love to cherish and no life to hold to,
the world, it knows the value of your existence,
and their light depends on you.

How I wish I could be you,
wearing the cure of my own limitiations.
Shining the worth of my eccentration,
and beaming the light out to gloom and devaluation.

-The Troubadour 11-07-10

I wish I can turn back time
travel back to the mistakes I’ve made and correct them
I don’t mean all of it
for life will lose its meaning
I just need one day,
one day to make something right out of me

I wish I can walk to the future,
take a glimpse of what will be the outcome of my deed
I don’t want to spoil it,
but I want a peace of mind
for the thought of it makes me live in vain
I just need one day,
one day to make something right out of me

I wish I was the prince of Persia
holding on to the sands of time,
using it to undo anything he likes
I don’t need to hold on to it
I’ll bring it back
I just need one day,
one day to make something right out of me

I wish I was Aladdin,
summon the genie out of the lamp
I wont make three wishes
someone needs it more than I do
I don’t want them all
I just need one day,
one day to make something right out of me

I wish I can travel back to time,
even if its a curse,
go ahead and let me bear it
just as long as I can change things in the past
I’ll do this for the sake of someone
Please give me one day
one day to make something right out of me

If in any moment a time machine is made
I’ll volunteer to test it for free
even if the odds of success is against me
and if death should be the key
so be it, I’ll press the switch ON and take my life out of me
I seriously need one day
one day to make something right out of me

I wish it was all just a bad dream
a very long nightmare that I see
wake up and get back to reality
and this feeling is not with me
then I wouldn’t need a day
that one day to make something right out of me

-The Troubadour 10-16-10

Out in the sea deep down under

Up in the mountains way beyond reach

There in the forest no man has seen

Is where Aphrodite has enchantedly been hiding

An old enigma no mind can unravel

Her impervious purpose not even the wise has answer

Warriors with valor, Knights with honor

All deeds presented surprisingly made a horror

Troubadours and jesters thought of it a night

Uniqueness has always been their might

Juggling pin, flute, paper, pen

These are tools for courting ten

It clearly state the hearts intent

Alluring the life on the other end

Oh what felicity it brings the morning after

But the Goddess as such forever uncertain

Was it love or just mistaken

Kindness is such a polyseme proven

Accountable for this illusion

Both Masters asked the cause of revulsion

Thus, restraining the wind from singing

A silent answer is always breaking

Yet no one stopped on pleading

Seeking help to the GOD of Eden

Invariably thinking of what had happen

They countlessly make their efforts for pride

They tried and they cried and later died

Such a pity they have always been denied

-The Troubadour

clashing minds

quibbling mouth

the air was filled with grumble

a rueful heart

by a flagrant josh

now I get to scuffle

pleading contritely

with words of remorse

chaffering for a priceless pardon

such a feeble

the pathetic one

not worthy for a salutary remission

- The Troubadour 08-22-10

A new life, a fresh start and a whole different perspective.

Turned the numbers back to zero, learning the old trick again plus one. Its not easy to feel incompetent when you were once the MAN!

But life’s a turntable, no matter how hard you trained, no matter how good you were and no matter how far you’ve gone, the flip-side is just a spin away.

Now I’m beginning a new chapter of my life, and its called MOLDING, for the sharp knife that I were had become rusty and unsharpened.

None of the things that I have learned seem to  matter anymore, for some have been proven unnecessary, some had shown to be worthless and the rest I found rather unlikely usable at this point for its potentials had not been utilized for quite some time. 

Today I start to re-evaluate things, a keen process of knowing how to take the rust off without destroying the piece. I have learned that through the perfection of this process that everything should turn out right.

The fire had already been lighted, its now burning with enough heat that should be needed to undo the rust. A few more time and it should be enough to melt the knife to be reinvented.

While waiting, I must prepare to have it changed, there will be a different molder, the blacksmith is yet to show his skills and precision, patience and faith would have to be my deal.

I am bargaining for the best or for the worst, but taking the risk is far better than letting it decayed by the rust without even being used.

It may not be a knife for a greater cause once it is molded, but having a new sharp knife around should always come in handy!

-The Troubadour 08-15-10

Each one of us have our own battles in life, battles that only us can understand. Some of this battles are fought with titles and belts, some are fought with stars and stripes and some are fought using just plain and simple will power that probably if not to win but to survive life’s unexpected attacks.

This battle is a war, its a never-ending war between our choices, always leading us to either for the better or for the worst. 

Unlike any war, in this battle our ammunition is unlimited the gun that we use carries of no advantage to what others might be holding nor is it otherwise. What matters in this life is the type of ammunition that we load, just a matter of choice. How we use this ammunition is the key to survival, either we use it to kill, threaten or disarm the enemy that we encounter or not to use it at all is our discretion.

Bullets varies in style, sizes and power, it serves as our life, ability, intellect, dignity, resources, power, identity and most of the time it serves as our opportunity. 

Most of us have all words, strong and very striking, but every word without action is a dream; these bullets are BLANK yet then again not all are harmless, although most of the time they are the scared-y cats it doesn’t mean that they know nothing, we still owe the motivation and realization to them. 

The big number goes to the hopefuls, aspirants, the people that have big dreams yet most of the time unable to reach it due to some miscalculations-they are the ones who uses the TYPICAL bullet, bullets that pierce, wounds and kills depending on what the situation may be. These bullets are very complicated, there are lots of things(factors) you need to consider when using them. It requires to know your target, your proximity, on what part will you be aiming, and the environment where you and the target are currently on. For a single miscalculation could either bring you to your downfall or leave you in debt…Accuracy in every aspect is the key!

However in every battle there are always a few whose bullets are DISTINCT, most of the time they are the ones born with it, there bullets are expensive and of much bigger responsibility; these are the ones that penetrates and explodes. The use of it simply to a target if not to destroy will create complications. Their decision always lies whether to use it or not, apparently most of them goes trigger happy knowing that in a single shot they can take away everything and leave the enemy crushed. They always stay unharmed with such resource on hand. Oftentimes this abuse of what they have is what normally kills them. It crushes their pistol by using it over and over making the bullet to explode in their hand in time.

Every individual holds one of these bullets and every once in a while this bullet gets stuck in the pistol making it to malfunction. We always try to take it out and replace it with something better and new, but to do that the loaded ammunition must be fired without the barrel to unstuck and reload the cylinder. By doing so, most of us fails to notice that the bullet would never be stuck not unless its bigger than the barrel. 

You see there’s a kind of bullet that you don’t see everyday that always gets to a waste thinking that its useless. We always fail to see its importance and cease the opportunity of using it in a much bigger gun loading it to be useful in another way. 

Its probably a cliche to assume, that people are afraid of challenges, or much like getting out of the comfort zone. Too ignorant to see that every bullet is worth something, too ignorant to see that something different of the usual is also useful in the war when used to something that suites it best.

So the next time you go TRIGGER HAPPY, remember this…

AMMUNITION might be UNLIMITED but the opportunities of using an unusual bullet is RARE…


-The Troubadour 07-06-10